In the world on digital marketing and content creating, there’s always a call to action at the end but today, I am treating my blog as a journal and sharing my heart.
The past two months have been so incredible; my business have grown 2X, I got engaged, and I am finally living the life I’ve always wanted. The fear set in for a moment. Will I be able to keep this up?
Fear’s an old friend of mine and the unfortunate truth, we all know it all too well. Sometime fear actually makes me add too much to my work load and then I burn out.
But I have people who rely on me, I need to keep going to pay for a wedding, this…that.
These are the excuses I give myself so I don’t rest. We often look at fear as an enemy that doesn’t allow us to start anything but that’s not true for each person. For me, fear provides me the drive but it start dwindling down a part of my soul which then leads to forgetting my why and I lose my commitment with what ever I’m working on. Business or personal life.
My mother has the same habit and perhaps I have it because I was raised my a refugee. Always scared something is going to go away. Her home went away, her “normal” life went away, things just kept going away for her. Make sense and she instilled this onto me.
It’s not a bad thing. I am able to achieve higher levels because of this drive but when I reflected my past, I noticed I didn’t enjoy the process.
I’ve grown so much in the past few months but I have to admit, I’m tired, want to cry all the time, things don’t work the way I want it to, and I’m starting to see the signs of feeling burnt out.
But Mandy, you just got engaged…should you be extremely happy? Omg! Yes! This is what is helping me keep everything together. Knowing I have someone who loves me and wants to spend the rest of their life with me. Helping me find the little strength I have to keep going.
These are also the sign of me falling back into depression too. I’m trying to get ahead of it before it takes me away from my work and the things I really want to do in life. It’s also the reason why I’m sharing this. If these feeling resinates with you, feeling overwhelmed instead of happy, it could be a sign of your brain falling back into a depression. I’m not a doctor and never had a profession tell me this but I’ve lived side by side with it for so long. I just know my body, especially my brain.
If you’re feeling burnt out because you put your heart and soul into something, please do me a favor and find a way to take a break.
My break is going to be the Bahamas. I thought I might be able to hold off until our trip but my brain is telling me to take it easy so I can recharge. After today, I am going to be a vegetable for a moment. Do nothing.
Thank you for all the love you have been sending me. It means so much to know you are always there during those tough times and the magical ones!
p.s. I didn’t edit this one because … it’s from my heart. te he.0