Warning: This post is very personal, talks about anxiety, and depression.
2019 provided me one last lesson before we rang in the New Year. The trend on Instagram was to show off accomplishments through the year and personally, I made my own version of this. Wow! After reflecting the year, I achieved a lot.
Now, I can start listing them off but this is the last lesson I got from 2019; my accomplishments are mine and it’s okay to cherish them privately. To go even deeper, I don’t need other’s validation but only my own. That’s why I am going to keep them to myself…. plus they are all over my blog…LOL.
With this new realization, I’ve constructed a little game plan to create 2020 as the model to be the first of many grateful years to come. But let me give you a brief background of who Mandy Nicole is.
HI, I’M MANDY NICOLE
My name is Mandy Nicole and I’m an Asian-American who is super creative, self aware, and who battles with mental health. I had many missions in life at the young age of 30 but there has always been something missing.
As a former teacher and a people pleaser, I have often thought I had to be the “role model” to others, having everything done perfectly (which is still the case), and do it all on my own. I’ve learned through the lessons of being self-employed, getting my heart broken (this was before Andy), and moving to a new town that I can do pretty much do anything.
Doing everything made me extremely burnt out, I became Sleepy Beauty, and I didn’t do the most important thing; focus on my mental health.
SIMPLE AND PRETTY CO.
Simple and Pretty Co. has been through the ringer. It started out as a jewelry company, then it was a personal blog, transitioned to a boutique, and finally back to a personal blog? This has been the past four years of my life and if it felt like it was all over the place. Like my life, I was constantly trying to evolve Simple and Pretty Co. into this successful something. I was chasing an “end goal” but this made me keep changing my vision and left myself and others confused. It was like throwing spaghetti to the wall to see what sticks. Up until now, the only thing that has stuck is me being me. Hi, once again, I’m Mandy Nicole.
REMEMBER WHAT BLOGGING USE TO BE?
It was a story. It was basically someone’s journal that got shared to whoever wanted to read it. It was something you fought about with your parents because they thought you were sharing “too much.” It brought both joy and heartache because it was just you sharing your life. Now what happened to that?
It became an industry. It became a place to monetize and make money. There’s nothing wrong with that because it does create value and provides a lifestyles for families but it wasn’t for me. What brought me joy was creating content as a story teller. Sharing my day to day struggles and how I was able to overcome them in hopes ONE PERSON would use my own life lessons to apply it to their own so they would not have to feel the pain I had to endure.
I miss that.
HOW DID I GET HERE?
Through content creating for other companies, I was exhausted fitting into other people’s mold and once I decided to step away from that life, it left me walking around with a haze over my eyes. The smallest task felt like I was moving the Earth. I became a walking Sleeping Beauty.
LIVING WITH MENTAL HEALTH
It’s been a struggle to admit that I need more support than just a lot of coffee and accomplishments to manage my mental health. I have the best support system anyone who lives with anxiety and depression can ask for but I need to seek medical attention. There are things that were financially stopping me from getting help but that’s no longer an excuse.
I’m not here to glorify mental health but I do want you to know that you’re not alone. I’m also not here to save the world either. I am trying to help myself at the moment and hopefully by using my platform, I am able to do some good in the world.
SETTING SOME BOUNDARIES
What does this mean for Simple and Pretty Co.?
All this means is I’m going to be staying true to myself. There will be harder days than others and I might be quiet from time to time. Other days, I will be shouting about how amazing life is but bottomline, I will be as transparent as I can and I will be respecting my boundaries.
There are some things I have to work on alone or with my family. Because you have been so supportive, I know there will be moments where you will be worried. All I ask in return for my transparency is to keep things positive and even if your suggestions are coming from a good heart, please be mindful on how you say it. For instance, if I’m sharing about a bad day, please don’t tell me that I need to go on medication. Most likely you are not a medical advisor and this is meant for me to reflect in hopes of creating uplifting dialogue. I want to provide stories and share my lessons once they have become a habit in my everyday life. If it’s not a proficient skill, I’m not going to talk about it.
I’M NOT A THERAPIST
This is a passion project of mine. After reflecting the direction I wanted to take Simple and Pretty Co. in 2020, I realized that majority of the feedback I get is that you all enjoy hearing how I’ve been able to solved my life problems.
I use to think, constantly having to solve problems in life meant you didn’t have your life in order but it’s the complete opposite. The ability to tackle the problems thrown at you is what provides you the tools for your tool box to take on life.
There is no timeline to life. You don’t have to be at a “certain place” by a “certain time,” just as long as you get there.
Life isn’t a formula but there are formulas you can follow to make life a little easier.
TIME FOR SLEEPING BEAUTY TO WAKE UP
Who knows where this journey will take me but I know it’s time for Sleeping Beauty to wake up. There will be many ups and downs but I’m pretty excited to take on the challenge. I don’t need a kiss from a prince to wake me up because I’m capable to set my own alarm clock, instead I will raise this Baby Yoda Tervis Tumbler filled with water because I got sucked in doing the Whole30 with one of my best friends and say cheers to 2020 and let’s make this year and every year a kick ass one!
P.S. This is a really sensitive subject and even though you might know someone who might need to read this, please make your shares more general and refrain from sending it to someone personally. This can trigger an individual.0